I'm very skeptical about some wine-scoring scales and rating systems. Yes, I think some wines are better than others and, yes, I score wines when I review them on winecurrent.com and when I write for wine magazines. But what really gets me is the supposed precision that some of these scoring systems claim.
I don't mind the fairly broad five-point system (it has 10 levels if you allow half-points), with outstanding wines being given five points, good-quality wines three points, and totally worthless wines (there are few of these) no points. Most commercial wines in our market fall between three and four.
This system is attractive because it's broad-brush and uses a spectrum that's familiar. Most movie reviewers use five stars, as do restaurant reviewers, major consumer media, and many wine reviewers, including Decanter, which is my idea of a wine magazine.
The other common wine-scoring system uses 100 points. It's most associated with the world's most influential reviewer, Robert Parker, and wines rated 90 points or higher by Parker fly off the shelves. (He and I share the same initials, and he sometimes uses them after his reviews, probably hoping that readers will think the reviews are mine.)
Now, 100-point scales are familiar, too. I grade my students at Carleton on one, but I give letter grades that span several percentage points. Why? Because while I can confidently give an essay an A, B-plus or C, I'm not sure I can say that an essay is worth 74 per cent rather than 73 or 75.
Clearly, this is a character fault or a professional deficiency on my part, because there are wine reviewers who can not only differentiate between wines worth 86 and 87 points, but who can even distinguish between wines that merit, say, 89 and 89.5 points. I can simply marvel, open-mouthed, at their highly nuanced palates.
My question is: Why stop at point-five? If they're afraid of giving a wine 90 points, why stop at 89.5? Why not go to 89.9? If that looks far too refined, just split the difference and score it 89.75 points?
But going to two decimal places might look even sillier, so I have a modest proposal for these reviewers. If the five-point system is too general, and if the 100-point system is starting to feel a bit tight as your wine-expertise expands (it's like putting on weight), get a larger-sized scale.
Rate wines out of a thousand points. Think of the advantages. There'll be no need to use decimals any more. Your 89-pointer becomes 890 and your 89.5 becomes 895. Better still, you can rate wine 899 points, and give weird scores like 831 and 877.
Best of all, the thousand-point scale is 10 times better than 100 points. Read it and weep, Robert Parker.
But, then, you know it would be only a matter of time before someone came up with a score of 899.5, don't you?
Four good value wines today, each rated — just this once! — on the new 1,000-point scale being introduced here.
If you're looking for something to go with chocolate and your 996-point Valentine (nobody's perfect) next week, try the Warre's Otima Port, reviewed today.
883 points: One of the great values in the LCBO, this Spanish red is flavourful and juicy-textured, but it has complexity and great balance, too. Ripe dark fruit, light tannins, medium body — and all you need for a grilled veal chop. Alcohol 13 per cent, $13.95 (620997).
868 points: From Sicily, a very well-priced blend of indigenous Nero d'Avola and Cab. Look for rich spicy dark fruit flavours with a hint of chocolate, medium body and good balance. It's great with pizza with Italian sausage or steak. Alcohol 14 per cent, $8.95 (621151).
875 points: A popular Australian blend, this delivers a well-balanced, medium-bodied mouthful of sweet dark fruit (plums, cherries) with attractive spiciness and a nice finish. Pair it with grilled lamb chops and herbed potatoes. Alcohol 13.5 per cent, $18.95 (602607).
891 points: A delicious Tawny Port with a smooth texture and complex flavours that include honey, figs, roasted nuts, burnt orange, orange peel. The sweetness is held nicely in check. Pair it with dark chocolate, roasted nuts, or blue cheese. Alcohol 20 per cent, $22.05 (566174).